Lost Lives Live Too Long

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Sunsets Lasts but a Minute, Sand Shifts Beneath Our Feet. Love Lasts a Lifetime. Ideacapitalist

I’m lost for the last time,
But I’m not alone.
Feelin’ wrong, and right at home.
So much is feelin’ wrong,
Lost lives live too long.

Feeling I don’t belong.
My tears dripping down,
Onto your face,
Not a hair out of place.
You’re the empty smile without a face,
You’re the kiss without an embrace.
You’re the heart without a place.

A whisper in your ear.
My lips paint the words.
Only you can hear.
You’re skin deep.
You can’t sleep.
I’m the soulful stare.
I’m the soul laid bare.
I’m your nightmare.

You’ve said everything I needed to hear.
Little did I know how little you care.
You felt good until you didn’t.
You felt good until you couldn’t.
Movin’ on or maybe so.
Leavin’ my heart behind.
Or maybe so..

I’m lost for the last time.
Secrets are for closed doors.
Feelin’ wrong, and right at home.
They’re no more, and I’m not alone
Lost lives live too long.

The piano plays to me.
Too close to where I want to be.
Lost lives live too long,
Live too long,
Right at home.

Listening to Paul Cardall’s album New Life, Letting Go and Michael Meets Mozart by the Piano Guys

Choose YES

It’s late. I’m listening to Porcelain, by Helen Jane Long, a piano instrumental on an album of the same name. There’s an upbeat tempo one minute and down the next, but what’s never in doubt, the melody is moving forward.

Long’s instrumental reminds me that life is a series of ups and downs. In life, we all have them. When we have hurt, pain, tragedy, it is overwhelming, often devastating, even catastrophic.  Life goes on.

The cruelest part may be life goes on, with or without us. We can experience disappointment ranging from losing the lottery to losing a loved one or worse.  Yet for us, the cruel irony is, yes you guessed it, life goes on. In those moments of despair, panic, fear, disappointment, agony, even shame, it is all about what we do next that separates us. Life goes on.

The same holds true for those moments of elation, spontaneous laughter, thrills, the smile that aches, the head rush from a fist pump or a YES! There’s the deep gratification that love yields, the peace and reciprocity that a warm smile can bring. Life goes on.

There’s a reason for a beautiful sunrise or sunset, because both are signaling a new beginning. And yes, there’s always hope, as we live and breathe. There’s always hope. All we have to do is look for it and we can find it. Life goes on.

I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. You have been there. We all have. I don’t know anyone in my life over 50 that hasn’t experienced tremendous ups and downs. All I am doing is reminding you and reminding me too, in this moment, with this soulful piano playing to my heart, I can find peace. And YES, life goes on.

There’s always an upside, too. I’m living proof. Every day will be a new beginning. I am going to arm myself with a warm smile and choose YES! Life goes on with or without you. Choose YES!

Laugh All You Can!

Revisited.

Idea Capitalists

20140725_101755Laugh all you can!
What comes after,
Solitude, sadness, tears.
A waterfall, descending through life,
A crescendo, a splash, your past.
Let’s you down, then you’re washed away.
A moment in time, gone.
Deep, quiet and alone.
And the promise,
Laughter comes after,
Is the waterfall.
A crescendo of life,
Will come crashing down on you.
Laughter and tears,
Never ending,
Never done.

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Brings Me to my Knees

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Rest easy into the night.
Before you reach for her,
You know she’s all right.
Her soft breathing,
Makes it all right.
Your eyes close slowly,
Her smile’s out of sight.
A smile your heart aches for,
When it’s no longer there.
Her laughter is your prayer.
Brings me to your knees,
To pray for one more day.
One more day!

Tears Come Easy

Super moon Tampa in the backfground 3Tears come easy when you are tough.
Weakness hides behind a smile.
Tears come when they are most unwanted.
Sometimes they come when least expected.
Tears can bring joy, relief and hope.
Peace can only come in grief’s wake.
Mourning’s tide washes into a new day.
Tears sweeten the bitter memories of you.
Mine are forgiving tears.
Forgiven, not forgotten.
As another blue moon rises,
Tonight begs me, say goodbye.

I Deserve You

liar
I left my soul open,
With every word spoken,
Lips left love unspoken.
Now I’m broken.
I deserve you.

You’re the wave,
That rolled over me.
More than a tsunami.
Swept deep inside of me.
Tears hide the rain.
Hide the pain.

Your lies echo in my head.
Like a book often read,
I can’t put down.
I’m you’re circus clown.
I own… this.

I left my soul open,
With every word spoken,
Lips left love unspoken.
Now I’m broken.
I deserve you.

I’m all in.
Every sin.
I can’t imagine.
Was there a beginning?
Is there’s an end?

Missing a place,
A place inside of you.
A place inside of me.
I’m lost.
There’s no you.
There’s no me,

It’s hard to get close,
To be so far apart.
So alone, so often.
Your touch. A spark.
A light that fades to dark.

I left my soul open,
With every word spoken,
Lips left love unspoken.
Now I’m broken.
I deserve you.

Dedicated to CG 1966

Eyes wide open… Reflections II

My Cody Bear


In the darkest hours of night, when sleep should prevail, without prejudice, without mercy, questions pour into my head. I lie awake and I wonder…
Have I lived well enough to make many friends and fewer enemies?
Do I have the courage to cherish my friends and to vanquish my enemies?
Have I spread enough smiles?
Have I shared enough hugs?
Have I planted enough kisses?
Have I caused enough laughter to earn reciprocity?
Have I studied enough history?
Have I been engaged enough in current affairs?
Have I earned a degree in knowledge?
Is knowledge a benefit?
Is knowledge the revelation of truths, or is knowledge the realizations of falsehoods?
Have I learned from every victory and every folly?
If so, am I a benefactor; more important, am I a teacher?
Today, in this world that reports the past in real-time; in time to worry for our future?
I only see and images of life, albeit in real-time, can I relate?
Have I focused long enough on the anguished faces, I cannot truly see?
Have I listened hard enough to the desperate voices, I truly cannot hear?
Have I seen enough of their pain, I truly cannot feel?
Have I felt their hunger, I cannot feed?
Have I shared in their grief, I cannot quell?
Have I touched enough people?
Has cuddling become a lost art?
If you learn my darkest secret, will you forgive me?
Will I forgive myself?
Did I stop smoking soon enough to live forever?
How much double churned ice cream is too much?
Will I die and when?
Will it be too soon!  Of course!
Would I fight for my life to the very end?
Out of fear?
Out of courage?
For you?
Will I let go?
Can I fall away?
Will you miss me if I’m gone?
Will you miss me when you are alone?
Will you miss me when you are among friends.
Will you still be laughing and smiling?
And for how long?  Don’t tell me.
My dog is asleep at my feet.
He has all the answers.
He won’t say, but I finally get it.
It’s not about me.
So now, I can close my eyes…

These reflections are more important to me, now then ever beforre. I hope you are asking yourself the same questions.

All the best!!!

Note: My Big guy, my Cody Bear, passed away in 2017.

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